How to Talk to Anyone - 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
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- The Flooding Smile
- Don't flash a quick smile, instead, look at the person, pause for a second, then open up a big warm smile. It will feel more personal to the receiver.
- Sticky Eyes
- When talking to women, don't take your eyes off theirs at all, even after they have finished talking. If you do have to look away, do it slowly, as if it's hard to break away.
- Epoxy Eyes
- You need 3 or more people to pull this off. Keep looking at the target, even when someone else is speaking. Don't overdo it, but observe if the target notices.
- Hang by Your Teeth
- As a trick for good posture, imagine as you walk through a door way that a bit is hanging from the top, which you bit onto to pull your head up, shoulders back, and body into alignment.
- The Big-Baby Pivot
- Whenever you meet someone new, pivot your whole body toward them, smile wide, and acknowledge something about them.
- Hello Old Friend
- Whenever you meet someone new, pretend they are an old friend, this should help trick your body into responding with the right language.
- Limit the Fidget
- If the conversation really counts (interview, courting) fight the urge to fidget, rub your nose, touch your face/mouth. Keep eye contact. Otherwise, you could appear to be lying, or uneasy.
- Hans’s Horse Sense
- Learn to read people's reactions: smiling, nodding, palms up = good; frowning, looking away, clenched hands = bad.
- Watch the Scene Before You Make the Scene
- Visualize the conversation before you have it. See, feel, and hear everything you need to make the actual even more comfortable. Visualize the other techniques to help them become second nature.
- Make a Mood Match
- Before saying anything, get an idea of the persons mood, and try to match it and use a similar voice tone, even if just for a few moments, you must start at their level.
- Prosaic with Passion
- Almost anything you can will be fine, just make sure it's empathetic, positive, and passionately delivered. Don't try to impress, just get conversation started.
- Always Wear a Whatzit
- Wear something interesting that allows people who want to talk to you something to comment on. Also notice whatzits on others to start conversation.
- Whoozat
- If you find someone you would like to talk to, but they don't have a whatzit, simply ask the party giver to introduce you, or to give you some information that can server as an icebreaker.
- Eavesdrop In
- No whatzit or whoozat, just sidle up next to the crowd and wait to overhear something you can chime in on.
- Never the Naked City
- Whenever someone asks, "Where are you from?", never give them a one word answer, instead, give a fact along with it to keep conversation going.
- Never the Naked Job
- Whenever someone asks, "What do you do?", never give them a one word answer, instead, give some relatable examples along with it to keep conversation going.
- Never the Naked Introduction
- When introducing people, give some facts about each to help their conversation.
- Be a Word Detective
- Pay attention to your partner's every word, you'll find what subject they really want to talk about.
- The Swiveling Spotlight
- Imagine a giant spotlight that shines on whoever is talking. Try to make the spotlight shine on the other person so much that they are blind to the fact that you have hardly said anything.
- Parroting
- Whenever you are at a lost for words, simply repeat your partners last few words quizzically, that will put the ball back in their court and they'll keep talking.
- Encore!
- When you are in a group, ask someone important to you to tell a story that you have heard before.
- Ac-cen-tu-ate the Pos-i-tive
- Don't mention any of your past mistakes, you might scare the person off, instead, keep positive and eliminate the negative.
- The Latest News... Don’t Leave Home Without It
- Before leaving to a party, listen to some news or read the paper. This will give you something to talk about if all else fails.
- What Do You Do—NOT!
- Don't ask "What do you do?", instead, ask "How do you spend most of your time?". This gives the other person a chance to speak about what interests them most, even if it's not work.
- The Nutshell Résumé
- In response to "What do you do?", craft a special version for the person you are talking to, based on what they may mean to you.
- Your Personal Thesaurus
- Look up 50 common words in your vocabulary to replace them with more interesting words.
- Kill the Quick “Me, Too!â€
- Whenever you find someone with a shared interest, wait a little bit to hear them speak about it before revealing it.
- Comm-YOU-nication
- Start sentences with "you" rather than "I", it saves the person from having to translate the sentence into their terms and also appeals to their pride.
- The Exclusive Smile
- Save a big, flooding smile for the most important person.
- Don’t Touch a Cliché with a Ten-Foot Pole
- Never use a cliché, or risk sounding boring, unimaginative, or just plain stupid.
- Use Jawsmith’s Jive
- Research quotes or jokes to deliver to groups, just make sure they are relevant to the situation.
- Call a Spade a Spade
- Don't use euphemisms, call things as they are.
- Trash the Teasing
- Never make a joke at someone else's expense, you will pay for it later.
- It’s the Receiver’s Ball
- Deliver news with the receiver in mind, good or bad, and with the proper attitude in mind.
- The Broken Record
- If someone persists in asking a question you don't want to answer, simply repeat your first response EXACTLY and in EXACTLY the same tone.
- Big Shots Don’t Slobber
- If you see a star and can't resist saying hello, wait till the end of the evening, pay your check, then complement the person. For example, "Let me tell you how much pleasure your work has brought me".
- Never the Naked Thank You
- Never just say "Thank You", always follow it with a reason.
- Scramble Therapy
- Once a month, do something out of the ordinary to be able to talk with people about their interests (scuba, hiking, etc).
- Learn a Little Jobbledygook
- Simply ask a friend who knows the lingo for a few questions to ask as openers, before changing the subject ASAP.