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mar 33

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common traits of people who abuse
– SADISTIC AND AGGRESSIVE
– OBSESSIVELY JEALOUS
– HAVE A NEED TO CONTROL
– ABUSE ALCOHOL AND OTHER DRUGS
– GREW UP IN VIOLENT FAMILY
– POORLY EDUCATED
why people stay in abusive relationships
⬢ NEGATIVE SELF-CONCEPT AND LOW SELF-ESTEEM
⬢ BELIEF THAT ABUSER WILL CHANGE
⬢ ECONOMIC HARDSHIP
⬢ CHILD SUPPORT
⬢ FEAR OF BEING ALONE IN WORLD
⬢ SHAME, GUILT, AND SIN
⬢ FEAR FOR LIFE
⬢ HOME BECOMES A PRISON
patriarchy and male dominance theory
there are still come countries where women and children are defined as "property" of men
conflict theroy
most institutions, including the family, do not benefit women and children as much as men
exchange theroy
weighing the benefits and costs of engaging in such behaviors
intervention issues- prevention and treatment
PREVENTION AND TREATMENT
– TENDENCY TO STILL BLAME VICTIMS
• HUSBANDS ARE JUSTIFIED IN ABUSE DUE TO WIFE’S “NAGGING”
• THE DAUGHTER WAS ALWAYS BEHAVING SEDUCTIVELY
– WHILE MORE SHELTERS ARE BUILT, THE NEED GROWS
– LAWS HAVE CHANGED TO SUPPORT VICTIMS OF ABUSE
intenvention- barriers
– SOCIETAL ATTITUDES
– PUBLICITY IS A TURN-OFF TO THOSE WHO WISH TO REPORT ABUSE
• FEAR OF ISOLATION, OR TOO MUCH IN THE MEDIA SPOT LIGHT
– FEAR OF “GETTING INVOLVED”
• DUE TO LAWSUITS
interve ntion- legal issues
– BATTERED-WOMAN SYNDROME
• WOMEN BEING EXCUSED FROM ABUSE AND EVEN KILLING THEIR PARTNERS
• STILL NOT EVERYONE AGREES WITH THIS AS A VALID DEFENSE PLEA
the phases of seperation
preseparation, early separation, midseparation, late sdparation
preseparation
fantasizing what it would be like
early seperation
anserwing tough questions
mid seperation
due to realities of separation, souples may agree to get back together: pseudo- reconciliation
late separation
learning to survive as singles again
the refined divorce rate
number of divorces per 1000 married women over age 15
decline in divorce rate
⬢ ECONOMIC FACTORS
o DIVORCE AND SOCIAL CLASS, WIVES IN THE LABOR FORCE
⬢ HIGH EXPECTATIONS OF MARRIAGE
⬢ THE CHANGED NATURE OF MARRIAGE
o SELF FULLING PROPHACY, MARITAL CONVERSATIONS- MORE STRUGGLE AND LESS CHITCHAT
⬢ DECREASED SOCIAL, LEGAL, AND MORAL CONSTRAINTS
⬢ INTERGENERATIONAL TRANSMISSION OF DIVORCE
self-fulling prophecy of divorce
DEFINING MARRIAGE AS SEMIPERMANENT CAN BECOME A SELF FULLFILING PROPHACY. INCFREASINGLY, SPOUSES MAY ENTER THE UNION WITH RESERVATIONS, MAKING “NO DEFINITIVE GIFT”. IF PARTNERS BEHAVE AS IF THEIR MARRIAGE COULD END, IT IS MORE LIKELY THAT IT WILL.
reasons for decreased social, legal, andmoral constraints of divorce
social institutions, social integration, gender roles, cultural values
social institutions
– CHANGES IN LAWS, RELIGION AND THE FAMILY HAVE AFFECTED DIVORCE
• “NO-FAULT DIVORCES”
social integration
– THE WEAKENING OF SOCIAL BONDS LEADS TO MORE DIVORCE
gender roles
– IMPACT OF WOMEN’S GROWING INDEPENDENCE AND CAREER ORIENTATION
cultural values
– DIVORCE DOES NOT HOLD THE STIGMA IT ONCE DID FOR THOSE INVOLVED
types of divorce
divorce is transitional, managing the transition in stages.
emotional divorce
⬢ BEGINNING PHASE - HOPE MAY REMAIN
⬢ MIDDLE PHASE - ANGER INCREASES
⬢ END PHASE - ONE PARTNER STOPS CARING
legal divorce
the formal dissolution
economic divorce
hammering out the details
coparental divorce
deciding who is responsible for hwat and when
community divorce
dealing with family and friends
psychic divorce
mourning and seperation
various stresses for children of a divorce
CHILDREN USUALLY FEEL GUILTY, DEPRESSED, AND ANXIOUS. CHILDREN APPEARED WORST IN TERMS OF THEIR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADJUSTMENT AT ONE ARGER SEPERATION, MANY HAVING DECLINED SIGNIFICANTLY SINCE THEIR PARENTS SEPERATION.

⬢ CHILDREN OF REDIVORCE
⬢ LESS MONEY, LESS EDUCATION, MORE PROBLEMS
⬢ REASONS FOR NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN
o LIFE STRESS PERSPECTIVE
o PARENTAL LOSS PERSPECTIVE
o PARENTAL ADJUSTMENT PERSPECTIVE
o ECONOMIC HARDSHIP PERSPECTIVE
o INTERPARENTAL CONFLICT PERSPECTIVE
⬢ FIGHTING THFOUGH THE CHILDREN
⬢ A MORE POSITIVE SET OF FINDINGS
types of child custody
sole, split, joint
sole custody
one parrent assigned
split custody
court ordered or by choce splitting of the children
joint
children are required to devide time between parents
problems this causes- children divorce
after custody is assigned, kids will need continuity, protection, and reassurance
mediation functions
– INCREASES COMMUNICATION
– REDUCES CONFLICT
– CREATES COOPERATIVE ATTITUDE
– REDUCES NEGOTIATION TIME
– HELPS PERSONS ADOPT STABLE SCHEDULES FOR VISITATION
– ALLOWS FOR CHANGES AS CHILDREN GROW

often preferred over litigation since parents are more likely to receive joint custody
basic facts of remarriage
• COMPOSITION OF FAMILY
– TENDS TO VARY MORE IN SECOND
• ABSENCE OF ESTABLISHED NORMS MAY LEAD TO PROBLEMS WITH AUTHORITY
– PROBLEMATIC FOR STEPFAMILIES
• FAMILY LIFE-CYCLE SITUATIONS
– WHEN ONE MEMBER OF THE COUPLE IS YOUNGER AND WANTS TO START A FAMILY
• COMBINATION OF FAMILIES
– BOTH PERSONS MAY HAVE CUSTODIAL RIGHTS TO OLDER CHILDREN AND THEN ADD THEIR OWN NEW CHILDREN TO THE MIX
homogamy in remarrying
HOMOGAMY HAS TRADITIONALLY BEEN A SECOND IMPORTIANT FACTOR INFLUENCING MARRIAGE CHOICE. HOMOGAMY MAY BE IMPORTANT IN BOTH THE CHOICE OF A FIRST MARRIAGE PARTNER AND IN SUBSEQUENT MARITAL STABILITY. HOMOGAMY INCREASES THE LIKELYHOOD OF MARITAL STABILITY
why is there so much failure in the second marriage
• HAVE NOT LEARNED HEALTHY PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS
• PEOPLE WHO RE-DIVORCE ARE MERELY “DIVORCE PRONE”
• THE PRESENCE OF STEPCHILDREN IS ANOTHER FACTOR
• WOMEN WHO GAVE BIRTH TO CHILDREN IN BETWEEN MARRIAGE WERE MORE LIKELY TO RE-DIVORCE
• OLDER COUPLES APPEARED TO HAVE LESS RE-DIVORCE
– THEY MAY TAKE THEIR TIME SELECTING A SECOND MATE
stability of remarriages
60% OF REMARRIAGE END IN DIVORCE. LOWER STABILITY IN REMARRIAGE
PEOPLE WHO DIVORCE IN THE FIRST PLAFE ARE DISPROPORTIONATELY FROM LOWER MIDDLE AND LOWER CLASS GROUPS, WHICH GENERALLY HAVE A HIGHER TENDENCY TO DIVORCE. SECOND, PEOPLE WHO REMARRY AFTER DIVORCE ARE, AS A GOUP, MOREA ACCEPTING OF DIVORCE AND MAY HAVE ALREADY DEMONSTRATED THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO CHOOSE DIVORCE AS A WAY OF RESOLVING AN UNSATISFACTORY MARRIAGE. THIRD, REMARRIED RECEIVES LESS SOCIAL SUPPORT FROM THEIF FAMILIES OF ORIGIN AND ARE GENERALLY LESS INTEGRATED WITH PARENTS AND IN-LAWS, NOT HAVING THE ADBANGATE OR FELATIONSHIPS THAT CAN ACT AS A BARRIER TO DIVORCE. FINALLY, REMARRIAGE PRESENT SOME SPECIAL STRESSES ON A COUPLE, STRESSES THAT ARE NOT INHERENT IN FIRST MARIAGES
who remarries
– MEN REMARRY MORE QUICKLY AND MORE OFTEN THAN WOMEN
– WOMEN TYPICALLY REMARRY IN THEIR MID-THIRTIES; MEN ABOUT 40
– MEN HAVE A LARGER POOL OF ELIGIBLE PARTNERS
– WHITES ARE MORE LIKELY TO REMARRY THAN BLACKS; BLACKS ARE THE LEAST LIKELY OF ALL RACES TO REMARRY AND MORE LIKELY TO SEPARATE WITHOUT DIVORCING
– THE MORE MONEY A MAN HAS THE MORE LIKELY HE IS TO REMARRY
– DIVORCED PEOPLE ARE MORE LIKELY TO REMARRY OTHER DIVORCED PERSONS
process of remarriage
emotional remarriage, psychic remarriage, parental remarriage, economic remarriage, legal remarriage
emotional remarriage
slow reestablishment of bonds of attraction, comitment and trust
psychic remarriage
recovery of valued identity
community remarriage
changes in the community of friends
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