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COACH: You can try, but they won't understand you for a year or two. But by then you will have been conditioned.
COACH: Try is now. First, your right, then your left.
And if they take it out?
COACH: . . . No, Baby, they're not stupid.
They have to be. What's going to happen to me?
COACH: Don't know what your particulars will be, I only know generals.
I'm not going.
COACH: Once these things are set in motion, there is no turning back.
I don't like it.
COACH: That's the way of the world.
TIMEKEEPER: One minute to birth.
For who?
TIMEKEEPER: Two minutes for Baby.
Who's Baby?
COACH: . . . So many times, Baby, you won't be able to imagine being called anything else.
Would you like to be called Baby for the rest of your life? How long have I been here?
COACH: Be persistent. Pop it right back in. Don't give up.
I like this.
COACH: You are since we received advance notice that's what your parents will name you.
They're going to call me Baby all the time?
COACH: Maybe. As parents, it's their prerogative.
You can bet I'm going to tell them a thing or two about that name.
COACH: Nine months.
They've had enough time to pick a decent name. They must be really stupid.
Daddy: Hi, Baby-buttso.
Saved again.
Babysitter: Couldn't have been better.
Where have you been?
Mommy & Daddy: Bye-byes. (yanking arms)
Push my butt. Yank on my arms. Leave me alone.
Daddy: Time for another vocabulary lesson, Baby. (after babysitter leaves)
This is irritating.
Mommy: Yes, we can't forget about Baby's moral training.
Where's that coach?
Deontology. The science of moral duty. (Baby screams) Amazing how Baby catches on.
She's got to be around here somewhere.

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