People skills

Start Studying!

Terms

undefined, object

copy deck

What is the lifeblood of every relationship?: Effective communication.
How is a relationship nurtured?: When open, clear, sensitive communication takes place.
When communication flow is largely obstructed, the relationship quickly . . .: deteriorates and ultimately dies.
When communication skills are lacking, there is so much love lost . . .: between spouses, lovers, friends, parents, and children.
How do we "bridge the interpersonal gaps" that separate us from others?: For satisfying relationships it is essential to discover methods that will help us to at least partially bridge the interpersonal gaps that separate us from others.
What is a common characteristic of people who fail at work. What percentage of people who fail?: People who fail at work do so for one reason: they do not relate well to other people. 80% of failures at work result from poor communication.
What diminishes one's self both emotionally and physically?: Lack of communication or frequent exposure to poor communication.
Each moment with another person can be an opportunity for...?: Discovery and growth or for the erosion of identity and the destruction of one's personhood.
What enhances one's productivity has a worker of any type?: One's productivity as any type of worker is greatly enhanced by the ability to communicate well. Communication skills are clearly keys to on-the-job success.
Or personality development and mental health are linked to?: The caliber of our communication.
What is "the dwelling place of being" according to Martin Heidegger?: One does not become fully human without interaction with other human beings. Language is the dwelling place of being.
What happens when somebody's presence does make itself felt?: It can refresh my own inner being it reveals to me myself, it makes me feel more fully myself than I should be if I were not exposed to its impact.
What is the deepest problem of people in our society?: Loneliness, isolation, and difficulty of self-esteem.
There are two kinds of aloneness. What are they?: Solitude can be creative, joyous, full aloneness. Loneliness is a painful, dead, empty aloneness.
What does David Reisman say can occur "even in the midst of a crowd"?: When one is not vitally in touch with one's self or others loneliness can occur even in the midst of a crowd.
What are several reasons that have been given for the increased ache of loneliness in modern times?: Materialism (finding one's solace in things rather than in people close) the mobility of people -- uprootedness of families. The bureaucratic structure of organizations.
What is the major cause of this interpersonal gap and the one that is easiest to rectify?: Inadequate methods of interpersonal communication.
How does TS Eliot described a typical family?: Two people who know they do not understand each other, breeding children whom they do not understand and who will never understand them.
Proximity without intimacy is...?: Inevitably destructive.
Marriage, the most complicated of human relationships, cannot flourish without...?: Effective communication
When communication is blocked, loves energy turns to...?: Resentment and hostility.
What is the toughest school in the world?: The school for making people. You are expected to be experts on all subjects pertaining to life and living. It's the hardest, most complicated, anxiety ridden, sweat and blood producing job in the world.
When parents have not mastered skills for accurate, congruent communication, the resulting anguish, alienation, and loneliness for parents and children...: Can be devastating.
What did Carl Rogers say was the whole task of psychotherapy?: It is the task of dealing with a failure in communication.
Emperor Frederick, the 13th century ruler of the Holy Roman Empire proved that efficient communication can affect a person's physical health. What was his test?: He wanted to know the original language spoken at birth: Hebrew, Greek, or Latin. He raised babies in complete silence and they all died within two years.
What is certain about your methods and style of communication?: They are primarily learned responses. Your most influential instructors were probably your parents, who in turn learned their approach to communication from their parents.
In what sense are we victims of victims?: Many of us were taught to communicate poorly by well-intentioned people who themselves were taught inadequate ways of relating.
Important adults in our lives model certain ways of behaving. As children we learn by example of the significant others in our lives as well as....: From their instructions to us.
What reinforces much of the training we received as children?: Cultural norms in our society reinforced much of the training we received.
Numerous dysfunctional ways of relating learned by children in our culture are?: How-to: remain superficial, build façades, play interpersonal games, hide from ourselves and others, downplay risk in human relating, manipulate others or endure being manipulated, hurt and punish others.
A vicious spiral has resulted where the communication faults of the parents are visited upon their children.: The spiral can be broken if you can unlearn those methods of relating that do not work well for you.
Homo sapiens is a vulnerable creature in a dangerous world however, some methods of protection arrest our development while others work positively for us: One of the key elements in learning communication skills is to discover how to protect oneself adequately while reducing unnecessary defensiveness.
Five sets of skills are:: Listening skills, assertion skills, conflict-resolution skills, collaborative problem-solving skills, skill selection.
Listening skills:(new reponses & understanding others): Enable a person to really understand what another person is saying. They include new ways of responding so that the other person feels his problems and feelings have been understood.
Listening skills (dependence):: When these methods are used appropriately, the other person often solves his problems without becoming dependent on you.
Assertion skills:: These verbal and nonverbal behaviors and enable you to maintain respect, satisfy your needs, and defend your rights without dominating, manipulating, abusing, or controlling others.
Conflict-resolution skills: these abilities enable you to deal with the emotional turbulence that typically accompanies conflict: Abilities that are likely to foster closer relationships when the strife is over.
Collaborative problem-solving skills:: These constitute a way of resolving conflicting needs that satisfies all parties -- it is a way of solving problems so that they stay solved.
Skill selection:: These guidelines enable you to decide what communication skills to use in any situation in which you find yourself.
Barriers to communication: keep meanings from meeting. Meaning barriers exist between all people...: Making communication much more difficult than most people seem to realize.
Communication barriers are...: High risk responses -- that is, responses whose impact on communication is frequently though not inevitably negative.
Communication barriers are roadblocks...: More likely to be destructive when one or more persons who are interacting are under stress.
The unfortunate effects of communication blocks are many and varied, they include:: 1. They frequently diminish the other's self-esteem.
2. They tends to trigger defensiveness, resistance, and resentment.
Communication blocks also lead to:: Dependency, withdrawal, feelings of deceit or of inadequacy. They decrease the likelihood that the other will find her own solution to the problem.
Each roadblock is a "feeling-blocker"; it reduces the likelihood that the other will constructively express her true feelings.: Because communication roadblocks carry a high risk of fostering these negative results they repeated use can cause permanent damage to a relationship.
Thomas Gordon devised a comprehensive list that he calls ...: The "dirty dozen" of communication spoilers.
Undesirable responses include:: Criticizing, name-calling, diagnosing, praising evaluatively, ordering, threatening, moralizing, excessive or inappropriate questioning, advising, diverting, logical argument, reassuring.
Barrier to communication: criticizing =: Making a negative evaluation of the other person, her actions, or attitudes. "You brought it on yourself -- you've got nobody else to blame for the mess you are in."
Barrier to communication: name-calling =: "Putting down" or stereotyping the other person "what a dope!" "Just like a woman...." "Egg head." "You are just another in sensitive male."
Barrier to communication: diagnosing =: Analyzing why a person is behaving as she is; playing amateur psychiatrist. "I can read you like a book -- you are just doing that to hear it take me." "Just because you when to college, you think you are better than I."
Barrier to communication: evaluatively =: Making a positive judgment of the other person, her actions or attitudes. "You are always such a good girl. I know you will help me with the lawn tonight." Many people find it difficult to believe that some of the barriers like praise our high-risk responses however they can be detrimental to relationships.
Barrier to communication: ordering =: Commanding the other person to do what you want to have done. "Do your homework right now." "Why?! Because I said so...."
Barrier to communication: threatening =: Trying to control the other's actions by warning of negative consequences that you will instigate. "You'll do it or else."
Barrier to communication: excessive/inappropriate questioning =: Closed-ended questions are often barriers in a relationship; these are those that can usually be answered in a few words -- often with a simple yes or no. "When did it happen?" "Are you sorry that you did that?"
Barrier to communication: advising =: Giving the other person a solution to her problems. "If I were you, I'd sure tell him off." "That's an easy one to solve. First..."
Barrier to communication: by diverting =: Pushing the other's problems aside through distraction. "Don't dwell on it, Sara. Let's talk about something more pleasant." "You think you've got it bad? Let me tell you what happened to me."
Barrier to communication: logical argument =: Attempting to convince the other with an appeal to fax or logic, usually without consideration of the emotional factors involved. "Look at the facts; if you hadn't bought that new car or, we could have made a down payment on the House."
Barrier to communication: reassuring =: Trying to stop the other person from feeling the negative emotions she is experiencing. "Don't worry, it is always darkest before the dawn." "It will all work out okay in the end."
A useful guideline to follow in communications is:: Whenever you or the other person is experiencing stress, avoid all 12 roadblocks.
The 12 barriers to communication can be divided into three major categories:: Judging, sending solutions, avoiding the other's concerns.
Judging includes:: Criticizing, name-calling, diagnosing, praising evaluatively.
Sending solutions includes:: Ordering, threatening, moralizing, excessive/inappropriate questioning, advising.
Avoiding the other's concerns includes:: Diverting, logical argument, reassuring.
Carl Rogers believes the major barrier to interpersonal communication lies in:: Our very natural tendency to judge -- to approve or disapprove of the statements of the other person.
The human inclination to be judgmental is exacerbated by: Those situations where feelings and emotions are deeply involved. The stronger our feelings are the more likely it is that there will be no mutual element in the communication.
Criticizing: One of the judgment toll road blocks is criticism. Many of us feel we ought to be critical -- or the other people will never improve.
Parents think they need to judge their children or they will never become hard working, mannerly adults, etc.: We will see how some of the objectives we are trying to accomplish with criticism, and other roadblocks, can be achieved more effectively by other means.
Name calling and labeling: Some other labels however provide halos: bright, hard worker, dedicated, a chip off the old block, a real go getter.
Labeling prevents us from getting to know: Ourselves and other individuals there is no longer a person before us -- only a type
Labels and classifications to make it appear that we know the other, when actually, we have caught: The shadow and not the substance.
Since we are convinced we know ourselves and others... we no longer actually see what is happening before us and in us, and,: Not knowing that we do not know, we make no effort to be in contact with the real.
We continue to use labels to stereotype ourselves and others, and these labels have replaced: human meanings, unique feelings and growing life was in and between persons.
Diagnosing: Some people, instead of listening to the substance of what a person is saying, play emotional detective, probing for hidden motives, psychological complexes, and the like.
Praising evaluatively: Praise is often used as a gimmick to try to get people to change their behavior.

Start Studying!

Deck Info

Number of cards 74