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Comm 272: Interpersonal Communications


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Communication Competence
Ability to communicate in a personally effective a socially appropriate manner
Interpersonal communication
Process whereby 2 or more individuals collectively create and regulate social reality by use of shared symbols
Performative vs Process Competence
Performative: delivery/performance

Process: mental perception
5 Types of Comm. Competence
1. Message Comp
a. Verbal
b. Nonverbal
c. relational
2. Self competence
3. Role Comp
4. Goal Comp
5. Interpretive Comp
5 Requirements for competent comm.
1. Assign meaning to the surrounding world

2. Set Strategic goals

3. Embody appropriate social roles

4. Present a valued self image

5. Create easily understandable messages
4 Standards for evaluating effectiveness of comm:
1. Understanding
2. Goal Acheivement
3. Relationship Enhancement
4. Pleasureable
Why do we form relationships?
To reduce uncertainty
3 ways we reduce uncertainty in relationships?
1. Cultural norms/Experiences
a. IN/OUT group
b. High/Low context

2. Sociological Data (women like flowers)

3. Information seeking
a. Active (ask)
b. Passive (observe)
c. Interactive (ask-respond
6 Characteristics of Relationships
1. Awareness
2. Develop through coordinated interaction
3. Analyze and evaluate as they develop
4. Influenced by outside sources
5. Controlled by relationships
6. Construced and maintained though comm.
Functions of relationships
1. Utility
2. Affirmation/Encouragement
3. Ego support
4. Stimulation
5. Security
Characteristics of a healthy "growing" relationship
1. Shared vision of relatioship future

2. Rules negotiated and executed

3. Partners share burden of relationship maintenence

4. Elaborated Communication Patterns

5. Metacommunication is valued: state of relationship talks
Process whereby humans collectivley create and regulate social reality
Any object or thing that is moving, has no beginning and no end, constantly changing
Communication as a ___, ___, and ___
Creative Endevor
a Regulator
Factors that affect attraction
1. Proximity
2. Similarity
3. Complementary Needs
4. Temporary States
Low self esteem
State Models of Relationships
Characteristics of individuals drive relationship formation and stability

Different behaviors are enacted as relathionships develop over time

Ability to negotiate relational stages det. relational dev.

Relationship def. are negotiated through comm.
Developemental stages of relationships
1. Initiating
2. Experimenting
3. Intensifying
4. Integrating
5. Bonding
Confirming relational messages
1. Direct acknowlegement
2. Agreement about content
3. Supportive
4. Clarifying
5. Expression of positive feelings
Relational Dissolution Stages
1. Differenciating (I dont understand you)
2. Circumscribing (avoid questions about rel.)
3. Stagnating (silence)
4. Avoiding
5. Terminating
Teh process wehreby humans collectivley create and regulate social reality
any object or activity are moving, have no beginning and no end, and constantly changing.

ex) communication: active continuous and flowing aner the same form one minute to the next
An approved social identity, what we present to others for thier approval
the ability to communicate in a personally effective and socially approved manner
communicative competence
second underlying principle of competent communication is that consists of all cognitive activity and knowledge necessary to generate adequate performance.
process competence
perceptual knowledge needed in order to communicate we must be able to assign meaning to the world; we must know how to see it.
implicit knowledge
the ability to make message choices that others can comprehend as well as to respond to the message choices of others
message competence
the ability to process adn use linguitic devices to convey content in effective ways
verbal competence
the ability to process and use nonverbal coeds to convey content in effective ways
nonverbal competence
the ability to process adn create messages that convey the type of relationships as assumed or desired by a communicator at a given moment
relational competence
the ability to label, organize, and interpret the conditions surrounding an interaction
interpretive competence
the ability to take on social roles and to know what is appropriate behavior given these roles
role competence
ability to choose and present a desired self-image
self competence
who we think we are is closely tied to how we present ourselves to others
how we feel about our self concept
the ability to set goals, anticipate probable consequences adn choose effective lines of action
Goal competence
becoming aware of whats going on when you communicate; concentrating on form in addition to content; watching yourself as you communicate
Process Perspective
silent communication taking place in our head
Intrapersonal Communication
communication between two people, generally in a face to face interaction
Interpersonal communication
As soon as a third person joins in on teh interaction communication ceases to be interpersonal
Small group communication
type of communication found in business or industry; within a strongly defined hierarchy
organizational competence
when a single speaker addresses a large group of individuals simultaneously
face-to-face public communication
Radio, televison, newspapers, magazines....ect.
mediated public/mass communication
How some scholors see relationships; all the things two people do when they are together
Relationships as contellations of behaviors
What tony does affects tina and what tina does affects tony
relationships exist in our minds when we think about one an other
relationships as cognitive constructs
an idealized image of how things should be; Relationships as Cognitive constructs
relational prototype
when two people form a relationship they develop thier own small scale culture
relationships as mini-cultures
see relationships as dialogues between two opposing voices each expressing a different adn contradictory impulse; the way couples come to terms with these differences
relationships as collections of contradictory forces adn dialectical approach
beginning to act with the other person in mind; actions are no longer individual
joint actions
consists of the word or words used to describe a relationship (30)
natural language label
characteristics a relationship must have to be classed by a given natural language label (30)
criterial attributes
behaviors that display an attribute (30)
communicative indicators
occurs when stress in the workplace affects the spouse at home
close personal relationships that can become more personal and unique (34)
Private relationships
related in impersonal ways adn very little change occurs over time
Public relationships
messages about the content at hand
Content messages
messages about the relationship itself; conveying meaning by how something is said as well as what is said; avoiding a personal question reveals something about the relationship (35)
relational messages
Duck calls this building a healthy relationship
level of role competence; inflexible; cant modify roles and cant take on new ones
Minimally competent
level of role competence; willing to change if the sense the willingness is reciprocal
satisfactorily competent
level of role competence; teh most interpersonally skilled; know when to adapt and when not to.
optimally competent
Indicate meaning by being close to what they convey; actors movements are like those of real people experiences real emotions; many nonverbals convey these codes
analogic code
meaning is displaying symbolically; Units of meaning that are arbitrary (thier reltionship to things is artificial) and conventional and based on social agreement
digital code and symbol
Difference between Analogic and digital codes?
analogic codes seem to express emotion and relationships, while digital codes are useful for more abstract, logical meanings
the study of word meaning adn morphemes (linguistic unit of meaning) dog vs dog(s)
public, conventional; the meaning was agreed upon when the language code was constructed
denotative meaning
private and emotionally charged meaning; attached to words through experience and associations ex)baseball
connotative meaning
study of the process by which words are combined adn ordered into grammatical sequences
Meaning based on word order; Sam wants to marry tina, tina wants to marry sam; same words different order/meaning
syntactic meaning
investigates language as used in actual interaction
The things we intend language to do for us; promising, praising, questioning, declaring warning, requesting....
speech act
rules that tell us how to recognize speech acts; CMM (coordinated management of meaning)
constitutive rule
CMM rules that help us to recognize in a given context when speech acts are appropriate and inappropriate
regulative rule
made up of a set of speech acts that fit together naturally
In regards to speech acts, knowing this will help understand the meanings, adn be able to say the right thing in the proper context
This answers teh question of "who am I or who do I wish to be?"
life script
determine the nature and function of talk; (Language at the Level of the Speech Act)
cultural pattern
The influence of language on thoughts; 1. determines the way we look at the world
2. Speakers of different languages will see the world diff.
Sapir-Whorf hypothesis adn linguistic determinism adn linguistic relativity
Middle class syntax which exhibits more varitey and complexity
elaborated code
working class use grammar in more rigidly determined ways, employing commonly shared forms they assume listeners dont need things spelled out; not designed well for outsiders
restricted code
words such as: kind of, maybe, somewhat
fragments such as "right" "ok" tacked onto the end of sentences
tag endings
sentences taht ward off criticism: "I may be wrong, but"
Characteristics of how communicate vs how men do such as qulifiers, tag endings and disclaimers
female register
whenever we choose words we choose points of view as well
critical theorists
When a group cannot express itself in the terms of the dominant group they are said to be silenced; masculine meaning tends to win out over female (103)
muted-group theorists
extra information contained in a response that can suggest additional topics; "it never rains where Im from"
free information
Levels of CMM theory (coordinated management of meaning)
1. Cultural Pattern
2. Life script
3. relationship
4. episode (activity)
5. speech act (what is sender trying to do)
6. Content (what is actually said or done)
What is actually said about a topic
Content Messages
cues that tell us what sort of a message a content message is; let us know if statement is a putdown, compliment, sarcasim...
Relational Messages
when these accumulate they give us a sense of who we are to one an other; specify how people should treat each other; tells each other what we think of them
relational definitions
if two people develop common behaviors or orientations they can form their own
relational culture
implicit negotiation of waht people expect to contribute and gain from a realtionship
relational contract
relational themes
1. Dominance-submission
2. Emotional arousal
3. composure (relaxed, tense)
4. Similarity
5. Formality (culture vs privately guided)
6. Task-social orientation (task at hand vs each other)
7. Intimacy
a. Affection-Hostility
b. Trust
c. Depth-superficiality (know alot about you/keep things secret)
d. Inclusion/Exclusion
e. Intensity of involvement
(how important are we to each other)
messages that indicate the want to take control or limit the actions of others; denials, disagreements; interuptions or topic changes
one-up message
messages taht indicate a relinquisment of freedom; agreeing, giving up the floor, or allowing another to direct conversation
one-down message
statements that indicate equivilence or failing to imply control
one-across message
responses that make us value ourselves more
confirming message
responses that make us devalue ourselves
disconfirming message
speakers present themselves in contradictory ways
paradoxical definitions
an impossible order; one that must be disobeyed to be obeyed; damned if we do and damned if we dont
paradoxical injunction
a situation where there is no correct response; victim must be faced with a paradoxical injuction adn relationship must be intense (125)
double blind
group of Psycotherapists that wanted to learn why some relationships were so destructive which they thought could be found in communication patterns (126)
Palo Alto
smallest unit to carry relational meaning is not a single act, but at least two acts in sequnce, or what is called an
lets us know when a sequence begins
punctuation (relational patterns)
a sequence characterized by one ups followed by one downs
complementary pattern (relational patterns)
consisting of acts that are similar
symmetrical pattern (relational patterns)
a pattern consists off all one ups
competitive symmetry (relational patterns)
a pattern consists of all one downs
submissive symmetry (relational patterns)
when the actions of one party intensifys the actions of the other; often a result of competitive symmetry
Participants feel out of control; a clear sequence will tell the other what will come next; immediate reaction to triggaring messages (129)
URP (Unwanted Repetitive Patterns)
ability to spontaneously identify with another on a direct emotional level
more congnitively oriented appraisal of how the other perceives himself, his sitch, adn his emotions; trying to understand where the other person is coming from
the cognitive structures and processes that influence our perceptions of others and social events
Social cognition
a cognitive structure that helps us to process and organize information
1. Prototype
2. Personal construct
3. Stereotype
4. scripts
schema is and includes
organized set of knowledge that reflects the best example of a category of persons, objects, or events
allows us to describe things and in greater detail adn make judgements about them. deciding how two things are similar yet diff. from a third (145)
personal construct
closely related to prototypes but they are not the same. Prototype: categorizes people; this goes beyond to a level of prediction; A set of beliefs about the probable behavior of members of a particular group.
guides to action; coherent sequence of events expected by the ind. as either the participant or as the observer. "what can I do now" "what do I do next"
placing ourselves in or avoiding situations where we will be certain to encounter a specific stimulus
selective exposure
refers to active participation in det. which of the many stimuli we will actually perceive
selective attention
internal cognitive representations about common, recurring interation routines within a defined cultural millieu
social episodes

Parent teacher conferences, family dinner
when a situation is completely scripted
closed episodes

rules for proper behavior are known in advance adn govern the flow of interaction
situation where no percieved plan is apparent
open episode
an open episode where participants try to negotiate some closures
defined episode
belief that certain individual traits are related to other traits
implicit personality theory

assume they have all traits if they have one of them
first impressions as lasting impressions
primacy effect
recent observations change initial impressions
recency effect
involves both percetion and behavior; when one believes something is true of another, he will act towards the other person as if that belief is fact
self-fullfilling Prophecy
system is greater in number of personal constructs (differenciatation) includes more abstract psychological categories adn has more elaborate ways of relating various constructs (integration)
cognitive complexity
the awareness of images of self adn teh ability to adapt these images to the situation at hand
definition of a relationship is worked out over times adn est. with est. patterns of behavior
master contract
Jones/Davis focused on the conditions taht lead people to make dispositional attributions - people have choices adn makes us make judgements
correspondant inference theory
TAkes into account the types of information we gather in order to attribute a cause to someones behavior
covariance theory
refers to a believe that given the same social circumstances, most people would act in a similar mannar
similar behaviors performed by a single individual over time
something specific elicited this behavior
explain other people by their personality dispositions
personality bias
when asked to explain our own behavior; situation vs personality
situational bias
listening simply to discriminate between stimuli
discriminatory listening
pleasure reasons for listening
appreciative listening
active recieving and learning new information
comprehensive listening
We listen to make judgements
evaluative listening
we listen to help others
empathatic listening
to state in your own words what you think the other person means

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