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Glossary of Role of Chris is russian Tea room

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Created by JacobJTeel

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Margaret: Hello, Chris, it's me. Are you awake yet?
Is this public television again? I have renewed my membership, and I dont care about the umbrella, so please stop calling.
Margaret: Chris, this is your agent.
Oh, Margaret, Hi.
Margaret; Are you writing your play?
No. No, I'm doing laundry. I'm matching socks actually. Making sure I dont put a blue stripe with a black stripe or a thin double red stripe with a single red stripe.
Well, that wont earn me my 10% will it?
No. But i need socks to wear shoes.
Ye yes details, well Im reminding you that you have a meeting at the russian tea room with melissa stern.
Oh right, yes, I'd almost forgotten. Who is she again?
She's a new script development person at zovirax
Zovirax? Isn't that a medication for cold sores.
Oh is it, well maybe its Zylaphone. You know, one of those film production companies. Shes's apparently very hot in hollywood right now. And she likes writers from the theater. Apparently Landford wilson wrote something for her
Oh well, that's good. Do you have any checks coming in for me?
Well, the royalty for your one act is coming in.
How much is it again?
$250
Oh yes. That's not very much.
Now darling the play was only 10 minutes.
It was half an hour.
well it just flew bychrissy dear we know theatre pays less, thats why you should go meet with melba stringer, and make one of those developmental deals. Write a movie, write a TV show.
Melba stringer?
Whos melba stringer?
You mean melissa stern.
Waiter: Here's your borscht sir.
I didn't order borscht. this isn't mine.
Waiter: You dont want it?
I didnt order it. I just got here.
Prelude to a kiss was my favorite play, it was my life story exactly.
It was your life story? You mean, on your wedding day your spirit left your body and entered the body of an old man?
Well, no t literally ..........................Eventually Ill have a baby though, I think that's part of the point of being a women, you should do everything once.
Uh huh. You mean , ice hockey. Mass murder. Working in a library.

Exactly. Waiter. I'll have blinis and beluga, and a tall ice tea, stirred with a stick not a spoon. And what will you have?
I'll have scrambled eggs.
Waiter: he doesnt like the borscht.
Thank you for remembering.
Bring it to him anyway.
I'll have scrambled eggs please.
all of us at z...feel...yada yada, 4 weddings yada, hugh grant...buying tickets. Thats what its all about, and thats what ,akes zerofax a different kind of movie company. Were interested in quality.
You know, I have to tell you, I didnt actually write Prelude to a kiss. That was Craig lucas.



Chris: That was Craig lucas
Melissa: Oh, that's right....wasnt available....called you...Janet loves your work...Call cristopher...funny writer..And I thought that was a brilliant Idea
Thank you
Yad yad yad,,,....aids...babaloo...I have a meeting with nora ephron in 15 minutes. Nora ephron is the kind of quality writer we want to work with. That's why I'm meeting with you as well.
Thank you
What was that Julia roberts movie again?
Sleeping with the enemy.
Oh terrific, I love caviar. Not the taste axactly, but the sense of status it gives me. It's sort of like going to the bank and eating your money. Mmmmmm,delicious. Yummy
(to waiter) I didnt order borscht. I dont like borscht, I want scrambled eggs. Truthfully I'd like a BLT, but I'm sure the Russian Tea room doesnt have BLT's.
Enjoy your meal. Fuck you.
Why is he being so rude?
Rudness doesnt bother me......cut in line....Borscht, good for you...Do you want to write the movie?
What movie?
Oh havnt told you the diea.....Involved in siz lawsuits...one with mother...Make her beg....Now here's an idea for you. Shall I tell you?
I guess so , I'm here.
Okay, here goes. It's about a catholic priest and a rabbi, who fall in love and then O. Henry-style, each has a sex change without telling the other one.
Ah
So do you want to write it?
Ummm....
Catholic school for 100 years or something
Yes, well, 12 years
That's amazing., you must have incredible stories
Uh huh.
And so this story is perfect for you
Well, I'm glad you thought of me, but..you know....
what? Don't you think it's brilliant?
Yes, but...I don't really know anything about rabbis

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